Tag Archive for: dad

Is God Upset With You?

By Wayne Sutton

“… But You are God, ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, abundant in kindness …” (Nehemiah 9:17)

I invite you to read the above verse very slowly…

Ready to pardon.
Gracious and merciful.
Slow to anger.
Abundant in kindness.

Wow.

I ask you to consider how you perceive your God? As I look at the above verse it reminds some of just how loving our creator is, and how he moves with compassion towards his people.

Are you participating in sinful or rebellious activities? He is ready to pardon.

Have you been rebellious for quite a long time? He is slow to anger.

Do you need healing in your emotions or in your body? God is abundant in kindness! Today, slow down to reread a simple verse that displays the love and kindness of our heavenly father! He is waiting for you!

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3 Stages Of Marriage – Marriage Therapy Made Easy!

By Wayne Sutton

Marriage is a wonderful thing. Well, at least it should be wonderful. In our Phone Counseling and Life Coaching business we all too often see marriage issues leading to separation, divorce, and even at times violence. Our hope and prayer is that we can lead people to an awareness of where they are in the marriage, and begin a process of reconstruction or rebuilding the relationship. But, that is jumping ahead. So, let's look at the three levels of marriage closely.

The Romance Stage

First, this is often called the “Romance” stage – as two people have captured one another's heart and attention. This period can and usually includes the dating and engagement period. The romance stage is all too often a “time of blindness” where we unconsciously ignore the negative and focus solely on the attractiveness of one another. This stage, unless affected by other past relationships or other deep issues, is usually fun-loving and care free. It is also usually easy to discuss “toxic issues” such as sex, money, and family. This romance stage almost always transforms into the second stage of relationships, which I refer to as the “Reality” stage.

The Reality Stage

Reality, this is the tricky area. Reality is time when the honeymoon period is over, and the true self emerges. We all too often see the other person “as we choose to see them” during the romance stage, and then the way they truly are during the reality stage. Worse, many times we perceive the person through our own perceptions, based upon the filters of past relationships and personal history. This is where we must take a self-analysis of our walk and expectations from both ourselves and those we bring into our life.

The Rebuilding Stage

Polarity between the couple can show the major differences, and if not careful can lead to resentment. Resentment is like a cancer of the soul, and this can bring jabbing words of pain or distancing from the couples. This is sadly the reality stage that almost everyone walks in, yet few are willing to leave. This stage can bring the emotional ups and downs for years or even decades. This up and down lifestyle is either tolerated and the person lives in a life of stress, or they end up in divorce.

There is hope however for nearly every marriage. The key to healing a marriage is learning to walk in the stage of “Rebuilding”. Rebuilding may be quick and easy, or it can be a lifelong experience. However, even the process can be rewarding as you go through the journey. Let the journey be an experience, and let love grow through the process.

How do you rebuild? Sometimes it is simple as self-evaluation and applying grace through the rocky times, and at other times it may include using a marriage counselor or therapist. Most situations can be healed through proper time and loving support. Where are you on the three stages of life? Are you ready to rebuild and get back to the romance stage?

Wayne Sutton
www.TheSecondAdam.com

The Bride of Christ

“And one of the seven angels who had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues came to me and talked with me, saying, Come here, I will show you the bride, the Lamb's wife.” Revelation 21:9

 What is the deep desire of a father? To see his son married! The wedding of Jesus the only begotten son of God was in the mind of his Father from eternity. This awesome dad of Jesus is obsessed with the idea of getting his son married! He has been thinking about it over and over, this glorious wedding was rolling like a tape in his mind and imagination! The wedding planners and organizations of our days are countless and they do their best to arrange weddings according to each couple’s budget. But if there is one in the universe who really knows how to plan for a wedding it is the heavenly FATHER, he is the expert and there is none like him! Abraham sent his faithful servant to look for a bride to his son Isaac and made him swear not to return empty hands because he so longed to see his son married and he found him one, Rebekah! The other spiritual facet of this story points to the heavenly Father who sent his faithful Holy Spirit to search for a Bride for his son Jesus and he found him one, YOU! “The king's daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is trimmed with gold. She shall be brought to the king in clothing of needlework; the virgins, her companions after her, shall be brought to you. They shall be led with joy and gladness; they shall enter into the King's palace.” Psalms 45:13-15. Oh, how beautiful the bride of the lamb is (Song of Solomon 4:7), how beautiful and holy the perfecting of the saints that the Lord is doing in our hearts preparing us for the wedding!

 Read in Ezekiel 16: 7-14 God’s heart toward his wife, toward you, it will stir your heart with so much passion and love and will connect you to the heart beat of your heavenly groom: “I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked. And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine. “Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. I gave you expensive clothing of fine linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine goatskin leather. I gave you lovely jewelry, bracelets, beautiful necklaces, a ring for your nose, earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for your head. And so you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were made of fine linen and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods—choice flour, honey, and olive oil—and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were! Your fame soon spread throughout the world because of your beauty. I dressed you in my splendor and perfected your beauty, says the Sovereign LORD.”

 Jesus loves his church in a way we can’t fathom, you can just foretaste a little bit of his extravagant love for you through the revealed word of God. Song of Solomon is such a concentrated love letter between Jesus and his church. The time is approaching, the wedding preparations are coming to an end, and the church is getting ready to be raptured after being captured by his love … Jesus is coming soon!

 P.S: Don’t be among the attendants, become his bride! Receive Jesus now in your heart!

Everlasting Father

A man never knows what fatherhood looks like until that one becomes a father himself. It is like all the fatherhood emotions suddenly unwrap for him as soon as he holds his first born. Now this man is definitely set on a journey he never embraced before and it is new but incredible because now he can foretaste of the one whom is the FATHER of fathers (Ephesians 3:15). However God the Father didn't become a father overnight, he is never new to this experience of fatherhood, he is not new in the business of fathering because he is the EVERLASTING FATHER. You become better if you keep practicing something for a long time, men become better experienced dads in time but God the Father is the ancient of days and he is an expert in this and your life is entrusted to such a person who will never panic when you are a trouble or in trouble because he knows you ahead and he loves you already. He was fathering Jesus his only begotten son from old (Proverbs 8:23, 30-31), Jesus has the best dad in the universe and he invited you for such a long lasting experience on the cross.

Sometimes it is hard to see the heavenly Father the way he really is because of our imperfect experiences with our earthly dads and even though you had a good dad he can’t be compared to the heavenly Father because he is like no other and scripture likens good dads to evil ones compared to him (Luke 11:13). Your heavenly Father is holy, flawless, loving, all wise, all powerful, richly glorious, so good, so patient, so generous, extravagant and so protective and you are the object of his love and his focus night and day. Jesus’s ministry was so focused on revealing him to us. He is the exact image of him; if you see Jesus you have seen the Father (Colossians 1:15). The first time God held you in his hands when you became his, it didn’t trigger his fatherhood to show up although he was so happy and that’s because he has been your everlasting Father from the moment you were conceived in his mind and imagination. You have been fathered for a long time in his heart without knowing, he has been preparing your life. In Christ, you are officially his son and his daughter and you are loved exactly as Jesus is loved by him (John 17:23). Our heavenly Father Rocks! 

Glory to God
Tony Francis

God’s Bosom

“No one has seen God at any time; the Only-begotten Son, who is in the BOSOM of the Father, He has declared Him.” John 1:18

What heaven is really like? It is to be in the bosom of your heavenly Father. You can catch a very fade glimpse of something alike when you are hugged by your earthly father or mother. The bosom of your parent is the place where you want to be. The bosom speaks of a great intimacy; Jesus is in the Bosom of the Father and in Christ you are in the same place, are you aware of this? I don’t want to sit on a throne in heaven just give me some space in the bosom of my heavenly Father and this is more than enough to me. The bosom of the Father can contain all of his children yet it remains intimate for each one. The bosom of the Father is the very center of heaven, you are in the heart of God, you are in a place rich in love for you night and day. You are in a place of security, protection, freedom, revelation, power and majesty. No word can describe the glory of being in the Bosom of the heavenly Father.

God longs for intimacy with you, many can hear God’s voice or see visions of the throne, this is wonderful and I want both but I long for something more, I long to touch him, to feel him and to worship him closely that I can be lost at my daddy’s feet. I want to be able to say with John the beloved: “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have TOUCHED–this we proclaim concerning the Word of life.” 1 John 1:1. In his bosom, you will be healed, restored and be made whole, in his bosom you will be victorious and stay victorious, in his bosom you will sense your great value unlike the prodigal son who reached the level of pigs and felt cheap and worthless when he abandoned his father. This place is so real to me and is so scary to the devil that he always tries to dethrone me out of it but no one can pluck me out of my Father’s hand but me John 10:29. Do you know this intimacy?

Glory to God
Tony Francis

The Heritage of a Son

“And if we are children, then we are heirs; heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17)

Is the heritage of a father-son based on the performance of this son, the color of his hair, the shape of his body, the style of his clothing, the grade of his exams, the beauty of his character or based on his identity as a son? Go travel the whole world, you will see that this is a fixed truth everywhere whatever the country was, or its culture or its language, a son always inherits because he is a son. The Prodigal son understood deeply his right to have the portion of the goods of his father that’s why he came boldly to ask him for it (Luke 15:12). Now we know that it wasn’t polite of the son to take his inheritance in this manner while his father lives but the father gave it to him. What I am talking to you about is also a kingdom principle and it is as real as this earthly principle is. The moment you become a child of God, you became his inheritor, now think of it for a moment: what is it like to be an inheritor of God? SELAH. God doesn’t withhold his goodness from you but for you. In every season of your growth in him, whether you are a child or a mature son you will inherit the blessings according to his timing and plans for you. A natural father prevents his car from his child to protect him; although this son will benefit of his dad’s car when he matures, but let’s say it is a postponed blessing! This child will enjoy other blessings for now. It is my firm belief that a blessing not in its right timing can be of no blessing. God deals with sinners with Mercy but deals with his children according to his covenant with them. Are you aware that you are a son of the Most High God? Are you aware of your inheritance with Christ? I pray that your eyes be illuminated with this revelation so you can tap by faith into the riches of his Glory stored up for you and enjoy the abundance that cost Christ everything to give it to you.

Glory to God
Tony Francis

My Testimony

“Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.” Hebrews 12:9-10

My father disciplined me for a little while as he thought best for me and I am thankful! Are you familiar with this verse “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”? (Matthew 7:11). What my father thought was best for me was in many ways evil and hurt me, but no blame, because he thought he was giving me his best and sincerely I appreciate his efforts in raising me up, God bless him. It isn’t always what people do to you that hurt you; mostly it’s what they don’t do for you while the bar of your expectations is so high, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” and in many ways what my dad didn’t do for me made my heart sick.

For those of you who don’t know my dad, here is a little bit of background for you: my dad is so old because of his late marriage at the age of 50, so I grew up in an environment where my friends at school and my community around me used to tell me: “your grandfather is so funny” and with a bitter smile I answer: “he is my dad”. He’s now 84 years old, in a good health and I’m believing for his salvation. He was always there to provide for me, I didn’t lack any material blessing at all, in fact I lived in abundance, in a big prosperous house, with the best games, the finest clothes, the best school and education in town … while I was living as a rich boy outwardly, I lived a severe poverty inwardly, in my emotions I was a beggar for the fatherhood love & affections. I don’t remember my dad playing with me or affirming me especially in my most time needed of my shaping as a man, more than that he didn’t model to me this strong father figure, where he rebukes me in doing wrong or even slap me! He was tender in character all the time, trying to correct me always with gentle words, until I hungered to see him slap me just to feel his strength, funny huh? He didn’t train me to carry responsibilities nor to face challenges, thus when I grew up the storms of life swallowed me; even I couldn’t stand its slightest breeze. I was so naïve inside and emptiness in me was horrible. I won’t discuss here the consequences of such things but believe me I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually sick and handicapped from head to toe. I was a living dead, well not quite, a living dead doesn’t feel, but I was feeling all the pain of the world. I was raised in a very beautiful home but because of my dad’s absence in my personal life I felt like an orphan homeless, I was lost in the rooms of my life and later I made it my aim to seek for the alternative as soon as I grow up and the world was gladly waiting for me with open arms to embrace a sinful life to journey from pit to a deeper pit and from deception to another.

Did I choose all that? Well some of it, I was aware that some decisions I should not have made but don’t blame a sick hopeless person, blame those who tasted the glory and forsaken it for the lesser. I think the prodigal son was crazy, how could he leave such a wonderful Dad? In the prodigal son’s story, I think the son was bad, in my story my father’s absence was bad. After I came to Christ, and his glorious light shone upon my darkness, I learned about the heavenly Dad but it was mere theology and head knowledge rather than a radical life changing experiences with him. If you were to ask me some spiritual questions, I would have raised my chin up and answered you boldly about my solid sound doctrine. I would have answered the same if you were to ask me about the trinity and the Heavenly Father but did I know him by experience? Not really! My friend, I tell you the truth, everything bad and deformed in my experience with my earthly dad was projected in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, without knowing. I always thought that this up there Father is distant, uncaring and an old guy on the throne. I always felt disconnected with him, I know he’s there hearing me and providing but I was not able to connect intimately with him. I treated him the same way I treated my dad, I used to bring him my list of needs in prayer to provide and then leave. I didn’t express my love to him and I didn’t think he would say it back to me or even wanted to touch me. My perspective of this perfect Dad who is like no other was deformed with the filter of my imperfect experiences. Until the moment my Heavenly Father started to visit me to introduce himself to me … and here my story begins!

Glory to God
Tony Francis

The Story of Rocky & Sandy

Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. (Psalms 27:10-11)

Rocky and Sandy were cute little children who spent most of their childhood time playing together in the neighborhood. Sandy was raised by wonderful parents who loved her so much and were so concerned to be the best parents to make her lack nothing. Although they were busy yet they always found quality time to spend with their little precious daughter. They played together, ate together, laughed together, brought her gifts and took her to the best school in town; they really did their best to take care of her to secure a wonderful childhood full of warm memories and feelings when she recalls it. Rocky was also raised in such a wonderful family too, his parents did also the same with him but within the frame of their spending of their time together, they taught him the word of God and his ways, they prayed together & they prayed for Rocky and not only with words they also modeled the gospel to him in their living and actions. They really invested in Rocky and set him in the safe boundaries of God’s word. Both Rocky & Sandy had a wonderful childhood and wonderful moms & dads.

Rocky and Sandy grew up healthy teenagers excited to embrace their journey of life and ready to explore the world but they both faced tough temptations which were so appealing, attracting & seducing. Rocky’s decisions were so firm and didn’t yield because the hidden word of God in him supported him along the way but Sandy couldn’t resist long and was lost in the world and great was her fall.

Jesus: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:24-27)

Now whose parenting endured? Whose parenting was successful? Parenting is a lot of sweat but it’s worth the hard work because true parenting isn’t meant to be for a short term but for a long term that stick to your children everywhere. Are you a short term or a long term parent? Will your parenting accompany your children and influence them to make godly decisions even when you aren’t there? In Psalms 27:10 David said that his parents forsake him and the Lord will receive him but why would David seek after God? The answer is in the next verse, God as a mother & a father receives David to teach him his way, his word to remain strong against his oppressors. A father and a mother’s first duty is to teach their children God’s ways which enable them to stand against the oppressors of life. It’s such a blessing to have spiritual parents who feed you the word of God but if you don’t have, God’s parenting for you is more than enough. Study all the scriptures and you will learn that this is God’s original design for parenting! Adopt it. “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain” (Psalms 127:1)

 Glory to God
Tony Francis

When fathers abandon you

At noon, darkness fell across the whole land until three o'clock. At about three o'clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?” Then Jesus shouted out again, and He released His spirit. (Matthew 27:45-46, 50)
 

Our blessed Savior tasted all kinds of pain on his way to the cross and while he hanged on it there but the last pain he experienced just before he died was the pain of fatherhood abandonment. It was so dark around him; didn’t also feel so dark when your father abandoned you? Jesus shouted twice with a loud voice and released his deep painful sonship cry asking why? Why? I don’t get it, I am supposed to be your son, you can’t let go. A father-son relationship must not be broken at all. Jesus shouted twice with a loud voice and gave up his spirit because he could tolerate anything but this. Abandonment kills you!

Maybe you too have experienced in some way your father’s abandonment but you didn’t cry out loudly although you are suffering from the pain of rejection and your destructive lifestyle shouts this clearly. Drown in drugs, in alcoholism, in pornography, in failures? Maybe you doubt everyone? Maybe you are a workaholic, a perfectionist? You gave up on doing life healthily and the way you are living is nothing but a loud cry hoping that your father hears your big unanswerable WHY!

We live in a fallen world and our fathers raised us up the best way they know how, our leaders, our pastors, our friends and even you and I are the same but the heavenly Father is the only perfect dad in the universe. It was the huge penalty of our sins that separated him from his son for a while so you and I will never experience in Christ his abandonment. There’s nothing that can separate us from our heavenly Father because Jesus paid the price of abandonment once and forever. Today if you are in Christ, hear the heavenly Father declaring over you his glorious eternal unbreakable promises: “You are accepted in the beloved and I will never leave you nor forsake you”.

You can read this devotion also on Patricia King's website:

http://www.xpmedia.com/article/17386

Glory to God
Tony Francis