3 Stages Of Marriage – Marriage Therapy Made Easy!
By Wayne Sutton
Marriage is a wonderful thing. Well, at least it should be wonderful. In our Phone Counseling and Life Coaching business we all too often see marriage issues leading to separation, divorce, and even at times violence. Our hope and prayer is that we can lead people to an awareness of where they are in the marriage, and begin a process of reconstruction or rebuilding the relationship. But, that is jumping ahead. So, let's look at the three levels of marriage closely.
The Romance Stage
First, this is often called the “Romance” stage – as two people have captured one another's heart and attention. This period can and usually includes the dating and engagement period. The romance stage is all too often a “time of blindness” where we unconsciously ignore the negative and focus solely on the attractiveness of one another. This stage, unless affected by other past relationships or other deep issues, is usually fun-loving and care free. It is also usually easy to discuss “toxic issues” such as sex, money, and family. This romance stage almost always transforms into the second stage of relationships, which I refer to as the “Reality” stage.
The Reality Stage
Reality, this is the tricky area. Reality is time when the honeymoon period is over, and the true self emerges. We all too often see the other person “as we choose to see them” during the romance stage, and then the way they truly are during the reality stage. Worse, many times we perceive the person through our own perceptions, based upon the filters of past relationships and personal history. This is where we must take a self-analysis of our walk and expectations from both ourselves and those we bring into our life.
The Rebuilding Stage
Polarity between the couple can show the major differences, and if not careful can lead to resentment. Resentment is like a cancer of the soul, and this can bring jabbing words of pain or distancing from the couples. This is sadly the reality stage that almost everyone walks in, yet few are willing to leave. This stage can bring the emotional ups and downs for years or even decades. This up and down lifestyle is either tolerated and the person lives in a life of stress, or they end up in divorce.
There is hope however for nearly every marriage. The key to healing a marriage is learning to walk in the stage of “Rebuilding”. Rebuilding may be quick and easy, or it can be a lifelong experience. However, even the process can be rewarding as you go through the journey. Let the journey be an experience, and let love grow through the process.
How do you rebuild? Sometimes it is simple as self-evaluation and applying grace through the rocky times, and at other times it may include using a marriage counselor or therapist. Most situations can be healed through proper time and loving support. Where are you on the three stages of life? Are you ready to rebuild and get back to the romance stage?
Wayne Sutton
www.TheSecondAdam.com
Has your soul become much discouraged because of the way?
By Katie Souza
“The people journeyed from Mount Hor by way of the Red Sea to compass the land of Edom, and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way.” -Numbers 21:4
How many of you have become much discouraged because of the way? Have you been praying for your children to get off of drugs, but you are still getting phone calls from jail? Did you just lose your job and now you’re close to losing your home? Maybe you have been battling with sickness, or perhaps your marriage is on the rocks and the daily battle has caused your soul to be much discouraged because of the way.
This is a dangerous place to be. Look at what happened to the Israelites. The tiresome journey wounded their soul, then they began sinning out of those wounds. They spoke against God and against Moses by saying, “Wherefore have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in this wilderness? There’s no bread here, there’s no water here, and our soul is loathing this light bread.” They were so wounded by their journey that they began to complain, criticize, and speak against God and Moses. They were so wounded by the journey, even their souls loathed the manna. They were actually complaining about the supernatural provision that arrived at their front door every morning.
Many times wounds in our soul will tempt us to sin by grumbling and complaining. Unfortunately, this can leave us wide open for an enemy attack. When the Israelites complained, God sent fiery snakes to bite them and many of them died! This all started because they let their souls get much discouraged because of the way.
How many of you know that when you get wounded, you start talking smack? You get angry, judge, criticize, and gossip about people. You start speaking negatively about your situation. You let yourself become overwhelmed, tired and depressed. The longer that goes on, the more it attracts demonic attacks, then those fiery snakes start really snapping at you. Next thing you know, everything gets ten times worse! A relationship totally falls apart, you get very sick, or even goes totally broke and lose it all! Unfortunately, it all started when you let the journey causes your soul to get much discouraged because of the way.
What is the first thing we do to get our soul healed? We repent for allowing ourselves to get wounded through the crises, then we also repent for any bitter thing we let come out of our mouth because of it. That is what the Israelites did. They went to Moses and said, “We’ve sinned, we’ve spoken against the Lord and against you. Pray to the Lord that he will take away the serpents from us.” So they started the healing process by repenting.
Then the Lord told Moses to make a serpent and put it on a pole then have everyone that was bitten look upon it because then they would live. In John 3, Jesus said, “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.” The serpent represented Jesus so they were instructed to look to Him for their healing. The Scripture says when they did they would “live.” One of the meanings of that word is “to prosper.” The Bible says we are prospered and brought into health even as our soul prospers. When they looked to Christ, they got healed in their bodies but also in their souls, which happened to be their problem in the first place. Their souls had become much discouraged because of the way, but when they repented, when they looked to the healing power of Christ, they prospered in their health, even as their soul prospered!
Sit down today and get quiet. Take time to repent and forgive any sin that was involved in your soul getting discouraged during your journey. Then, do what I did after the TV shoot. Look to Jesus and decree that his Dunamis power is making you excellent of soul! Keep it up until you experience a real shift, then watch the flow of blessing enter into your life and turn your circumstances around!
For information and resources on Soul Healing please visit www.expectedendministries.com today!